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Bold words by Mishali: Sex before Marriage for Religious Jews - Impressions and Expressions of Ijon
April 1st, 2005
12:22 am

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Bold words by Mishali: Sex before Marriage for Religious Jews
A very interesting column by Yael Mish'ali [ynet, Hebrew]

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From:velfadar
Date:March 31st, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC)

Very interesting, indeed.

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But the real credit for courage doesn't go to her, for expressing her opinion, rather to the group (Ne'emanei Torah VaAvodah) who brought the whole issue up in the first place, as an issue. I found the original article to be considerably more intriguing. Not to mention important.
If things actually start rolling from here - we're looking at an enormous change due for the religious sects. Wachad taboo to be broken. It takes an awful lot of gutts to speak up like they did. Sachtein.
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From:cleobatya
Date:March 31st, 2005 11:20 pm (UTC)
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can you summarize in english? im extremely interested.
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From:mux2000
Date:March 31st, 2005 11:57 pm (UTC)
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A conference held lately exposed the fact that more and more youths of the national-religious-bourgoi public are interested at sexual relationships before marriage.

[...]

After the sexual converation took place mainly as talkbacks on the internet, the religious magazine "De'ot" a controversial essey that raised a 'tsunami' of debate in the national-religious public.
In the essey were interviewed men and women that haven't exactly been holding it for their wedding night. "It's not anything I'm proud of, but I feel I have to live too. Today I can't and won't spend my nights alone anymore." Says H. from Jerusalem.
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From:cleobatya
Date:April 1st, 2005 12:06 am (UTC)
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wow thanks.
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From:guygrobler
Date:April 1st, 2005 12:21 am (UTC)
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i actually read the hebrew artical that came before this (and was trying to remember were it was for cleobatya). it was indeed very intresting and very good to know. and in the words of velfadar - sachtein!
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From:novartza
Date:April 1st, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)
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The issue is an important one, and the need exists for this issue to be addressed.

From a strict halakhical aspect, of course, sex outside of marriage is forbidden. So is masturbation. The general tendency among religious Educators is to tune down the severity of the latter prohibition; as I was given to understand, it is a "גזירה שאין הציבור יכולין לעמוד בה" (unless, of course, you marry at 14-15, which almost no males do).

There are Rabbinical authorities that permit the institution of a פילגש, a permanent partner outside of marriage. A religious person deciding to rely on such authorities does have a foundation to stand on.
From:assafr
Date:April 1st, 2005 01:33 am (UTC)

When you say 'the latter'

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you meant masturbation?
Because, without much knowledge in the subject, I always thought masturbation was a much stricter taboo. Unless of course they say that pre-marital sex breaks all the other barriers on the way (e.g. Yihud and Isur Negia) it's actually many sins at once...
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From:cleobatya
Date:April 1st, 2005 05:50 am (UTC)

Re: When you say 'the latter'

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i have pictures to send you. im just too lazy to organize them!!!!
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From:novartza
Date:April 3rd, 2005 01:59 am (UTC)

Re: When you say 'the latter'

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Well, at least the approach of the Rabbis etc. to the issue is that masturbation is a lesser tabboo.

The biggest probl;em with pre-marital sex is the breaking of Issur Nidda, which exists unless the woman immerses in a kosher mikveh.
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From:wildernesscat
Date:April 6th, 2005 09:26 am (UTC)

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A very shallow article. She drops a bomb and runs into the bushes. Where is her reasoning behind this? What are the pros and cons? What are the sociological/psychological implications? We just have to guess.
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