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Scholars & Students: A Compendium of Professorial Magic - Impressions and Expressions of Ijon
January 31st, 2007
04:46 pm

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Scholars & Students: A Compendium of Professorial Magic

(Excerpted from Scholars & Students: The Academic Role-Playing Game.)

0-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS

  • RENDER LEGIBLE.  When cast on blue books, turns illegible cursive legible.  Professors will be able to read illegible cursive written in pencil with a DC 12 Interpreter check.
  • STAPLE.  Reminds Students to use the stapler in the department office before handing in papers.  May be blocked if multiple Professors utilize the spell within +2 hours of each other.
  • DETECT BOREDOM.  Allows Professors to pinpoint daydreaming Students.  Professors at 0-Level can only Detect Boredom in students with two hit dice or less.
  • CAUSE PARTICIPATION.  Provokes silent students into contributing to classroom discussion.  Eliciting intelligent classroom discussion, however, requires a DC 10 Course Management check; DC 9 or less may produce random comments or out-of-place queries.  Add 2 to the die roll for students with 3 hit dice or more; add 1 for each Professorial level over three.
  • RECONCILE PAGES.  Allows Professors faced with a class of students using multiple editions of the same text to identify the correct page numbers for each edition.  If Students are using a text downloaded from the Internet, the Professor must perform a DC 16 Collation check.

1st-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS

  • CAUSE STUDYING.  +3 to Student Concentration and Reading rolls.  May be blocked if cast on Friday nights, at the end of finals week, during Homecoming Week, or before Thanksgiving.
  • CANCEL MEETINGS.  Professors at Level One may cancel department meetings only.  (See Appendix 253 for a full list of levels and corresponding meetings.)  This spell may be countered by another Professor's Spell of Urgency, and will always be blocked by a Department Chair's Reminder of Contractual Obligations.
  • ACCEPT GRADES.  -2 to Students' Argument rolls. However, Students with 3 hit dice or more may retaliate with a Spell of Grievance  (-3 to Professors' Endurance rolls).
  • MAGIC PEN.  Increases grading speeds by a factor of at least two.
  • SUMMON SENIOR COLLEAGUE.  Professors attacked by Red Tape (q.v.) or under a Spell of Bewilderment may conjure up a tenured colleague for assistance.  For correct information, perform a DC 12 Bureaucracy check.

2nd-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS

  • CHARM CLASS.  +3 to Professor's Charisma.  If the spell is cast while returning graded exams or papers, Students receive +5 bonus to Resistance. 
  • DETECT PLAGIARISM.  All instances of plagiarism will be highlighted; recommended for use in conjunction with Accept Grades. If a paper has been plagiarized using books instead of Google, however, perform a DC 14 Professorial Dedication check.
  • MAGIC MEMO.  Automatically generates memoranda addressed to colleagues, administrators, etc.  Perform a DC 10 Spellcheck check before mailing.
  • SPILL RED INK.  Instantly identifies all grammatical errors in student papers.  If Students have 2 hit dice or less, then Professors automatically take -10 in Charisma rolls for a minimum of 2 rounds; if 3 hit dice or more, then -5 in Charisma. 
  • DESTROY CELL PHONES.  Fries circuitry in all cell phones within a 10 ft. radius.  Professor must perform a DC 16 Electronics check if his or her own phone is in spell range.

3rd-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS

  • DECODE TEXT.  Translates all e-mails written as text messages into recognizable English.  May be cast only once per day.
  • CHOCOLATE EFFECT.  +5 to Professors' Charisma rolls; -3 to Students' Resistance rolls.  Best used while handing out evaluations.
  • SUMMON DEAN.  Professors under a Spell of Grievance may rescue themselves by Summoning a Dean.  +3 to all Professors' Intelligence, Charisma, and Resistance rolls with a DC 15 Administrative check.
  • HAND OF TECHNOLOGY.  Enables Professors to operate electronic equipment, including DVD players, Smart Carts, and projectors.  Lasts for one class period.
  • SPEAK POP.  Temporarily grants Professors knowledge of contemporary music, television, film, and video games. The Professor must perform a DC 13 Poseur check each time he or she makes an allusion; failure results in -8 Charisma rolls, plus +10 to Students' Resistance rolls. 

(reposted from Miriam Burstein's blog)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: David Bowie -- How Lucky You Are

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

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From:wildernesscat
Date:January 31st, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)

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That's a good one :)
/but why are some spaces missing?/
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From:dorable
Date:February 1st, 2007 09:17 am (UTC)
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Ooh, that's a good blog. Thanks for introducing me to it!
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From:ling_tso
Date:April 19th, 2007 11:13 pm (UTC)
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Hi!

I know I've been nonexistent online for a while, but I was curious to see how you were doing. This is wonderful. I have DETECT BOREDOM (God, I wish I could turn it off), and HAND OF TECHNOLOGY (weird, since I'm only a grad student and it's a 3rd-level spell), and the GM sometimes lets me cast CAUSE PARTICIPATION. I really want the rest of them. Especially DESTROY CELL PHONES.

Good grad student spells would be SUMMON ADVISOR (self-explanatory) and FINISH CHAPTER (causes thesis chapters to magically write themselves shortly before they're expected by the advisor. Adds +3 Reputation points with a DC 15 Karma check).
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