?

Log in

No account? Create an account
A Surprise in the Shower - Impressions and Expressions of Ijon

[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][Profile]

February 10th, 2003
10:55 am

[Link]

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
A Surprise in the Shower
It's been years, literally, since I've composed a poem. My paralyzing perfectionism prevented me from producing poetry. But this morning, in the shower, this sprang up in my mind:

Self Portrait, 2003


Forever mispronouncing words
A neoglot eternal;
Can speak, perhaps, some Attic Greek
But mixes it with Doric.

Enamored of the intellect
A coward dilettante;
Awash with undercurrents vast
But firmly Apollonic.

Aghast at youth today, at Man
A classicist escapist;
In dreams sings Wotan in Der Ring
But dares not sing in public.

*

What a piece of work am I
How fragile in reason
How insecure in faculty


--10-Feb-2003

Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: birds chirping

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:antinous
Date:February 10th, 2003 04:37 am (UTC)

Constcrit (hopefully!)

(Link)
First and foremost - congratulations!

The English language is seductive in her vast vocabulary, i.e. in the multitude of possibilities she offers to the would be precise - do not let her sweep you off your feet.

The parade of parallel images (such as the eternal neoglot, the classicist escapist and others) is effective, yet it borders on self loathing. I'd rather leave the bestowing of such epithets to the critics.

Technically, this is indeed a well wrought poem - I loved the meter you chose.

Please continue!


[User Picture]
From:ijon
Date:February 12th, 2003 08:12 am (UTC)

Re: Constcrit (hopefully!)

(Link)
I'm not sure I understand. Do you think I was swept off my feet by the vocabulary of the English language? If so, in what way? In that the images seem to you to be self loathing?

I don't know; it is a self-portrait, and as such, it paints an honest (though certainly incomplete) picture of myself through my own eyes. I do not think it is self loathing.

Thanks for the criticism!
[User Picture]
From:antinous
Date:February 13th, 2003 09:54 am (UTC)

Re: Constcrit (hopefully!)

(Link)
I am sorry for writing in such a messy way. I liked the poem, though. Talk to you soon.
[User Picture]
From:cinamon
Date:February 10th, 2003 06:55 am (UTC)

Had to comment...

(Link)
but have no words to offer you.
So instead, my smile -

:)
[User Picture]
From:ijon
Date:February 12th, 2003 07:32 am (UTC)

Re: Had to comment...

(Link)
Thank you! :)
[User Picture]
From:veryty
Date:February 10th, 2003 09:34 am (UTC)

Down with Paralyzing Perfectionism!

(Link)
What a piece of work am I
How fragile in reason
How insecure in faculty...

...In AIM and LJ, how express and admirable!


I love you, guy! Ain't it great, what springs up in the shower?

More power to you; don't ever stop.
:-D

[User Picture]
From:ijon
Date:February 12th, 2003 07:21 am (UTC)

(Link)
Thanks. :)
[User Picture]
From:ukelele
Date:February 10th, 2003 10:19 am (UTC)
(Link)
You know, if I could write fluently in multiple languages -- much less in poetry! -- I would spend all my days in an orgy of self-adoration.

Also, you have a neat sense of sound. I am going to have to try to figure it out.
[User Picture]
From:ijon
Date:February 12th, 2003 07:19 am (UTC)

(Link)
Thank you! :)
From:ex_aurealis993
Date:February 10th, 2003 10:20 am (UTC)
(Link)
This the poem, Ijon? I think I missed a lot, because I wasn't there when you wanted to read it, if so. It really describes yourself well, the portrait is delineated very beautifully. Though I am not the best estimator of a poem written in English, I really did find you from this.

I just wrote in my journal that when I want to think, I'll take a shower. This is a real evidence that it really might help.
[User Picture]
From:wildernesscat
Date:March 2nd, 2003 08:33 pm (UTC)

Shakespeare?

(Link)
What a piece of work am I
How fragile in reason
How insecure in faculty

I knew it was Shakespeare! Bravo to the cat! *tapping myself on the shoulder*

What a piece of work is man!
How noble in reason!
How infinite in faculty!
In form and moving how express and admirable! ...
[User Picture]
From:ijon
Date:April 1st, 2003 02:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Shakespeare?

(Link)
Yes, I alluded to Hamlet.
Project Ben-Yehuda [Hebrew] Powered by LiveJournal.com