Insight by Night - Impressions and Expressions of Ijon — LiveJournal
Insight by Night|
Heed ling_tso's wise comment...
And let me add that I even question your authenticity. (though not your sincerity! i have no doubt about that; i admire these attempts at self-improvement, even if they end up self-indulgent) Let me try to explain. You provide an intensely rational justification for your obtuseness, such that it ends up with you looking like a very well-meaning man, naive and honest, stumbling in the woods of a disingenuous society. You got a few indignant responses to this, though nobody went so far as to accuse you of lying. That's my job. :) I submit to you a less flattering justification: You are smart enough to read the subtext but are afraid of facing it. Thus, you play the exact same game you wish to avoid. Your model of "text" and "subtext" is not a theory of speech, but a reflection of your pretense, a way of avoiding an honest struggle with your emotions. Some people suggest that this is a "man" thing. I suggest that it is a literate thing. People of words and letters tend to use these as solutions to actual relationships. A healthier model, I think, is to treat them as formulations of the problems, with the solution being the labor of dialog.
That sounded harsh. Let me repeat: It's just one more explanation I am throwing at you. I have no idea if it's true, but it seems as plausible as all the others offered.
Another suggestion: Check out the Bakhtin Circle's theory of language. It may provide you a rational justification for being a better friend, which you seem to need.
|Date:||December 30th, 2003 07:35 am (UTC)|| |
I wonder if Ijon is talking about personal communication (the man-woman thing is an example where the subtext issues crop up all the time), or if he's talking about public forums, in which case, as others have said, calling out people on their subtexts is NOT a good idea.